FOREST FOR THE TREES

Vered writes advice because Abby, Amy, Ann, Carolyn, Cary, and Prudence too often miss the mark for Gen-Xers and Millennials. She hopes to offer progressive, pragmatic advice that’s not out of touch with Rebellious readers, and maybe metaphorically take someone by the shoulders and shake them when they need it. Need some advice? Email vered@rebelliousmagazine.com. Letters may be edited for clarity. No names will be published.

Helping a Friend With Depression

Vered Siegel
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Dear Vered, One of my best friends, who lives far away, is clinically depressed and extremely socially isolated. She's leaned on me for a while over instant messenger during the day, and conversations with her are getting more and more draining. I just started a new job that makes me less available (though still technically available) during the day, and as my life has gotten fuller and more   Read more 

Rude Roommate

Vered Siegel
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Dear Vered, My roommate is really rude. We were acquaintances, not really friends, in college, and it seemed like a good idea to move in with someone that I was less close to, since a bad roommate match could result in a lost friendship. There's been this problem since we moved in together in February, but it's really starting to wear on me: she never, ever says "hello" when I come home an  Read more 

Cooking for One

Vered Siegel
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Dear Vered, I live alone, and I just looked over my bank statements for last year. I spend waaaaay too much on eating out. As in, I spend more on eating out in a week than I do in groceries for the rest of the month. I'd like to swap that ratio, and possibly even save some money, but every time I think to do that, I look in my (bare) fridge, look in my (bare) pantry, remember how long it t  Read more 

Gifts From the Boss

Vered Siegel
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Dear Vered, I came back from vacation over Christmas and New Year's to find a substantial holiday gift on my chair from my boss that must have cost over $100. It's really nice, but I didn't get her anything. Should I have? Do I need to run out and get her something comparable? If I can't afford it, do I need to return the gift? Signed, Poor Office Admin *** Dear Reader,   Read more 

Weight at the Holidays

Vered Siegel
Monday, November 26, 2012
Dear Vered, Every year at holiday gatherings with family, my uncle has made comments about my weight. I've always been a little chubby, but I'm active, my doctor says I'm healthy, and there's really not a problem. I've had a tough year -- I lost my job and my cat just died -- and really cannot deal with his needling at the Christmas dinner table this year. Can I tell my mom, who hosts Chri  Read more 

Quit Smoking For Me!

Vered Siegel
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Dear Vered, How do I get my awesome boyfriend to quit smoking? I don't need to tell him it's disgusting, he hates that he smokes, yet the smoking cessation kit he ordered sits unopened on the kitchen counter. So far, I've gotten him to quit smoking indoors (even in his own house, woo!) and chew some minty gum before kissing me. But that's all. I've tried the solidarity approach and quit m  Read more 

Don't Marry Her!

Vered Siegel
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Dear Vered, When my good friend started dating a new lady, I was immediately put off by how standoffish and wrong for my friend she was, but I wasn't worried because I figured she was a fling. My friend is an amazing person, and I figured she was just testing the dating waters with this new lady after a previous long relationship ended badly. In my mind, there was no way my sweet, smart, o  Read more 

We're Not Waifs

Vered Siegel
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Dear Vered, I recently visited one of my best friends who lives across the country. When I stepped off the plane to meet her, I'm ashamed to admit that I had to stop my jaw from dropping. She's put on at least 50-60 pounds since the last time I saw her. She's never been what you'd call a waif, and I've always admired that she wears her curves so well on her small frame. But now I'm actual  Read more 

I'm the Noisy Neighbor

Vered Siegel
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Dear Vered, I’ve lived above an empty foreclosed condo for about a year, but last month new buyers moved in, and I’ve already gotten two notes under my door telling me that I’m too loud. It’s a huge building and neighbors tend to keep to themselves here. I haven’t met the new owners yet (though I’ve seen them in the elevator) and I’m definitely not t  Read more 

Piercing a Baby

Vered Siegel
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Dear Vered, My husband has started to insist, as though there were never any question, that we’ll be piercing our newborn baby girl’s ears shortly after her birth. Apparently, his culture does this and it’s considered normal. It’s not my culture, and something about this rubs me the wrong way, but I’m having a hard time explaining it in a way that doesn’  Read more 

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